Almost 12 weeks. Shouldn’t my hormones be “leveling?” I don’t feel level. I feel disoriented and exhausted and just plain ol’ off.

Brain- pbth.
Stomach- pbth.
Body- pbth.

(By the way “pbth” is the sound you make with your tongue. like a raspberry. Yes, that one. Yes, I know you just did it…)

I’m trying to draw inspiration from women who don’t let anything slow them down. Like pioneer women (I love Laura). When they were pregnant they still had all of their chores and there were no dishwasher or grocery stores. I’m having a terrible time just focusing my brain. I find that even with a list in front of me, I end up jumping from one thing to another and completely forgetting which one I was supposed to be working on.

The Seven Year Old may not survive. Just stating facts. The arguing and the back talk and the constantly getting in her sister’s face must be a direct result of how slow I am acting. And well, like her mother, compassion does not come naturally to her. She just wants to be in charge, no matter what the cost to the rest of us. Dear Lord, help me…

I have a lot of weddings coming up. I am clinging to the hope of regaining a small amount of brain, as I think I may have overbooked. Granted at the time I didn’t know I would be pregnant. God has promised to walk every step and that I can do it all through His strength. So onward and forward! I am going to be exhausted and ill by the middle of October though… I can feel it.

So here I sit. With my green face mask and some lovely smelling candles. I would be feeling much better by now, having blogged my thoughts and cleaned out the clutter in my mind a bit, but The Bigger Dog will not stop barking. Even when put away. She may not survive either…

Heck, I may not survive….

2 comments to “Survival of the Fittest”

  1. Jenn

    You will survive lady! And have another smushy face to snoogle in no time! Love you!!!

  2. theresa

    Snoogle :) love you too!


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