Sometime last week things began to click. I can tell the difference between his cries. I know when he’s rooting for a meal or when he’s just tired. I’ve learned that he’s not going to take a bottle unless I take a “fun” approach to it. I know that at the end of a day, even though he may be wide eyed and smiley, he will get instantly drowsy when I burrito him up and start patting his cute diapered rump.

I love this boy so much it hurts sometimes. I never thought I would be so melodramatic over my child. I love the girls intensely, but everything I have heard about the captivating love between a mother and son is true. The way that boy looks at me makes me well up and praise God for his little heart and pray for His hand to be on his life.

The girls are finally home from school and life just feels better now. Everyone is relaxed. The girls are enjoying their toys and imagination and even better, each other. We’re not running on a schedule, we’re just living and oh, how I needed this! I love seeing them here in our (bare, up for sale) home reading, writing, creating. Today they spent 2 hours at the dining room table making various potions and cleansers (which Julie pronounces clean-zers.) They found soaps and spices and leftover apple cores from snack and they mash and mixed and shook. Now 4 of my tupperwares are filled with the strangest looking liquids I have ever seen and labeled with titles like “Layla’s Goo. Do not eat.” and “Juliet’s Cleaner. Do not taste.” and “??????” It’s fantastic.

This week I took all 3 kids to town. I strapped Nate into the moby wrap (best. purchase. ever.) and we all walked around downtown. Library, kid’s consignment shop and health food store. And then walked back to the van. And I felt like I had conquered the world! No one was screaming or got run over or lost. It was a blessedly NORMAL feeling.


One comment to “My (new, beautiful, exhausting) normal.”

  1. Denese

    Ahhhhhhhhh… contentment…it oozes and spills from your every word. You are very blessed T and you know it and you are at rest in it. It is a beautiful, wonderful thing. Thank you, God <3 Love you, T <3


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